Date with Destiny

Do we actually have control over our lives?

I don't really have an opinion either way. I actually believe I control myself, but I like to contemplate and consider these ideas.

Scientific point of view 

Our parents create us with their genes and DNA. We are born with genes, DNA and a brain that we did not choose, but it defines us. We are raised by two parents in an environment of their choosing. They choose what to feed, expose, and teach. At a young age we learn by example. Blindly following our parents, friends and elders actions. Our personality is not our choice. We have to be the way we are. If you choose to change that is your personality thus you are the same. The voice in our head speaks its mind. But what influences that voice? Is it our genetics? Our environment? experiences? Probably a combination of all three. Do genetics have everything to do with us. Are we biologically programmed to think a certain way? Can every action be traced back to genetics? 

Religious

First off no one get mad. Actually I don't care, call me out. Except for you Nelson. No rude comments from you please. I'm just expressing some thoughts I have had. Doesn't necessarily mean I believe in them. 

Well this one to me is a bit easier to explain. So God knows everything that has happened and that will ever happen correct? Well if he does he knows all of our actions that we will ever make. If he already knows what we're going to do, how do we have a choice? 

Also this kind of goes with the scientific point of view but God created man, and me individually. He made my mind and body. He made me how I am; my personality, strengths, weaknesses, everything! He also put me into a certain family and environment. All of my being was decided without my consent! 

Maybe this makes no sense in words but in my head its a finished crossword puzzle.

Byeee 

Lets complain some more QQ

Regret. That's whats on my mind.

I've got more things to be happy about then I have to be mad about. 

Why am I so unsatisfied? Why can't I focus on my accomplishments and move past 

my shortcomings...

Maybe you have the same problem. I honestly don't care cause no one truly cares about 

anyone else more than themselves. At least I don't believe so. Prove me wrong. Please.

Is it better to focus on why I got that one B+ in music appreciation or an A in calculus? 

Surely the A is much more impressive but yet that B+ looms over me. Almost mocking 

me... go away please. Music Appreciation... MUSIC APPRECIATION! Who cares?

The win over Bingham. Region victory and now on fast track for Region Championship 

and a first place seed in playoffs. But oh wait Timpview, Pre-season game that in the long run 

doesn't mean too much. My dreams taunt me.

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm thinking about how I wish I could change. I ache to relive my past but can't. 

I'm thinking about my fears. Why am I so afraid of everyone?

I'm thinking about why it's never good enough. 

Why is mind so furiously trying to get better but my body is complacent with mediocrity?

I'm thinking if I should even write this. Does anyone even read these? I don't need the A necessarily,

but I'm walking to the water so I might as well get the carrot while I'm there right?

I'm thinking about what others think of me. Why am I so self conscious. Does everyone really want 

me to fail?

I'm thinking about success. The word. I'm not sure how to get there but it sure sounds nice.

Double edge swords

What do I fear?

I fear the unknown. That mysterious and dark paths will consume me and that I will never be able to find my way home.
I fear  to disappoint others. That people will lose trust and respect in me and will look down from their ivory tower at me.
I fear to be silenced. That my voice will never be heard and that I will be overlooked simply because I am young.
I fear pride. That it will blind my already blurred vision to the point where I only see myself in a throne and what others do wrong.

I am scared of spiders. When I sleep they crawl through my hair and climb on my ears. Cold tremors shoot through my spine.
I am afraid of mirrors. Not only am I afraid for seeing my reflection and shaking my head in disapproval, but of seeing a hooded figure behind me.
I am terrified of darkness. My mind races when I turn the lights off. What is in that corner? Is something watching me? Is that heavy breathing from outside my window I hear?

The thing I fear most is one in the same. Regardless I will be tormented with this my entire life. I fear Death. I fear that when I die that is the end. It's over. Nothing matters. However I am equally afraid of eternity. Endless. Infinite. Timeless. Nothing matters. Because... I have forever to get it done, or I will die and be forgotten.

Auburn

The band plays.

Drumline pounds deep into your heart, your very soul.

It resonates within you, building the anticipation.

Crowd cheering

Friends watching, judging, do they want me to succeed? 

or to fail.

Family in the midst, Father cheers

as mother silently stands sentry, cautiously watching. always.

Amen. 

prayers are over

preparation has passed

the price has been payed;

blood, sweat, tears, pain, fatigue.

Reflect on the past months. years. 

isn't this what we dreamed about? 

what we've worked for?

We're here. 

gut check. 

All you care about are your teammates, your brothers.

To get that 'W'

Walk out of the armory,

high fives to little kids,

focus....

national anthem

~~~~~~~

refocus....

Opening Kickoff. 

showtime

how bad do you want it? 

are you willing to push harder,

run faster,

exert every ounce of strength 

on EVERY play?

where does inspiration come from?

from deep within? 

what makes you tick?

be passionate, love the game.

do you honestly want it?

if not, get the hell out.

now that only winners are here.

do you want to live,

remembered as a champion?

or die,

forgotten and passed by.

Expert Opinion

what qualifies an expert? who deems someone the title of an expert? What actually is enough knowledge of a particular subject or talent or skill to be an 'expert'? I consider 'experts' to be the best of the best of the best... sir. (Men in Black) ;)

For anyone who does fantasy football, you may feel my pain... Projections by these so called experts are rarely, if ever, even remotely close to actual production. But honestly if you are going to consider yourself an expert, don't embarass yourself trying to babble your mouth spoon feeding your viewers so they will return.

Whatever guy decided that Chris Johnson was most definetly a top 7 runningback this year was horribly mistaken thus far. Less than 20 yards on the ground and the same on receptions? Wasn't he projected by the experts to be in double digits?

Anyways the point is careful what you consider yourself... if you introduce yourself as a jokester, it will be expected for funny jokes throughout the night. Now if you don't introduce yourself as the funny guy, most jokes will be more likely to be laughed at because it is not expected of you to be as funny... Be careful, we live in a judgemental world. I judge everyone I come in contact with, whether its conscioulsy or sub conciously, I make conclusions based on nearly anything. Same with everyone else. And in a country where things are more and more difficult to acquire, you need to distiguish yourself apart from everyone else and come up with a reason as to why you are...

Im not tired just havin a good time...

chirp chirp lovey dovey, quack quack, wheres my rubber duck?

A lover. Don't we all crave one? A partner who is so intimately close, a half of a whole, a dot to my 'i' and the cereal in my bowl.

To some, they only look at the positive aspects of love. Pleasure, a companion, to feel. We may not always be in a relationship for the right reasons or maybe even intentions. Why is it, that things can be going so smoothly then one slip and *SPLASH* we fall under water, lose sight of priorities, vision is distorted, eyes burn as an unfamiliar setting engulfs us. Emerging from the water there are two options stay in the water because its fun, or get out in fear of slipping into the darkness again to avoid pain. I know I have bailed out of the water.. "nuh uh! i aint gonna take nonna dat! i'm bouncin later girl." Sometimes that may be the right choice however. For all you know a shark could be looming ready to pounce and take your rubber ducky under.

Then there are those of us who are afraid to fly. To jump, to take that leap of faith and trust your wings will catch the wind to soar to new heights. Fear of pain. Embarassment. Acceptance and rejection. All are sure to   be present in love. We want to fly, but cant take that first bound. The first free fall. butterflies in your stomach, loss of breath, pounding heart, loss of words.... practice makes perfect? Practice improves? Get over yourselves, jump and glide! You're sure to fail, but would you fall on your face over and over again to be able to fly? You can bet my virginity I would.

avoid those sharks cause they will take your ducklings and trust your wings. strengthen them or you will be a walking bird. Eagle or penguin. Top of the food chain or average life. I like power.

Keep it Real

yes we are selfish...

Selfishness…

Now that I’m thinking about actions… lets speak openly… What do you think about this phrase…. “there is nothing you will do in your life that does not benefit yourself” is it true or false? Initially you may think its true but think about it. Why do you go to school? Because your parents make you? Well you choose to go to school because you think going to school is better for yourself than arguing with your parents or getting in trouble. Oh you the rebellious type and bail on school? Well then you think it is more in your benefit not to go to school than it is and would rather take crappy grades and an argument with the parentals…

Well that was easy… let’s take it up a notch. You’re 27, have a beautiful family. Five year old Jimmy runs out to the street after a grasshopper a car comes flying down the street and is oblivious to your child in the road. You have two options run and push Jimmy out of the way and get hit by the car or watch helplessly as Jimmy gets run over… how could throwing down your life for your children be selfish? Well why would you put your life down for your child? You love him. So why is this selfish? Or in better words to prove my point, how does putting your life down benefit you? Well you may think that the guilt of not doing anything to prevent your child’s is too powerful and would ruin your life forever if you didn’t jump in front. Could you imagine living a life knowing you could have saved your son but sat and watched him die instead? Awful, awful right?

Lets have a discussion in the comment box. Try to think of a truly selfLESS action that benefits someone else and not you at all… and before you say giving money to charity, think about it… why do you give money to charity? Avoidance of guilt, pleasure in helping others, peace of mind, I mean all these things are ways that benefit ourselves… think about it realll hard folks J

Food for thought homies

Humans?

Humans… aren’t we peculiar?

What other animal lives beyond that instinct of survival and reproduction? Why is it that we as a species were able to develop such an innate ability that is uncommonly rare? Humans crave for more, surviving is not enough. We build, develop, create, design, and fathom marvelous ideas that no other creature could comprehend. Humans desire for more, an unstoppable hunger for the best, to be the best is our remarkable trait.

But why? What makes us special?

 Look at yourself… do you plan on being the next Einstein, or the next author of a book such as The Grapes of Wrath ? As in individual it’s hard to gain the motivation to work for a goal. I know I struggle with nearly everything I do. There are few things that can motivate you. I think motivation derives from consequence. Nearly everything we do has positive or negative consequences… and we do things because of those consequences. To become motivated we must look for positive consequences… you must become OBSESSED with that end goal or achievement. Time cannot be bought, rewound, or fast forwarded. To become the best time must be spent or invested into your goal.

Humans… where am I going with this? I have no idea… I just enjoy venting my mind… and I think we could all use some help on motivating ourselves…

Peace