What happened?
Why is everything about image. We spend sooo much time making ourselves look and feel good, when actually NO ONE cares about anyone else's image. There are two perspectives. I'm better than their image or I wish I was like them, jealous.
Why do I care about what everyone thinks of me? Because I do. I'm self conscious. I want you to think that I am valuable. When you see me, I want you to think that second perspective. That you wish you were like me, or at least wanted some aspects of me.
Oh you don't dress up to school? You say I wear sweats and hoodies everyday because i'm too lazy to wake up? i'm too cool? (nothing wrong with hoodies and sweats, they are my favorite clothes) well maybe I wear sweats because i'm scared. I'm scared that when I try to look good, it won't be enough for my image. I'm scared that when you see me you'll think thats it? thats your best? I'm scared of saying I tried my best. I'm scared that you won't like me, or approve. I'm scared of your judgements. They hurt.
I want to be real. I don't want to be fake, an imposter. I want you to like me for who I am. Is that too much too ask? well it starts with me and you acting ourselves. taking off our masks. being who we are. care less about others thoughts. be selfish. care about you, do you.
But, it's human nature. we want to be better than others. Our minds make judgements. We categorize, we look for flaws in those 'lesser' than us, and make the ones above us idols. Then we act to fit the norm or whatever you want to be.... guess we will be forever fake
damn indies....
It funny because I wrote my second post (http://whispersfromadaydream.blogspot.com/2012/11/confessions-of-blogaholic.html) and then I read this. I feel like they kind of connect.
ReplyDeleteSo true. I want to wear my pajamas to school someday, but... what you said. First I need to get over my fear of being judged.
ReplyDelete